Who Loves Whom
by blackraven23
Summary: an Ultimate FanFic of Teen Titans... Terra returns, to the happiness of some, and to the suspicion of others.. but a terrible accident happens at the same time, leaving another Titan encased in solid stone instead... Raven deals with two new emotions, one
1. New Emotions

Teen Titans Picnic

Ever since Slade had died, or mysteriously left, the crime in the city had reduced to an all-time low. So the Titans had a lot of free time. In their free time, Raven had meditated a lot more, spending countless hours in her hostile room, Cyborg had updated his T-Car nearly every day. Robin and Beast Boy spent hours searching for a way to reverse Terra's sacrifice, and Starfire had spent her free time learning about the customs of Earth.

Raven's POV (point of view)

I climbed steadily the stairs to the top of the tower, where I was going to meditate in the light of the dying sun. My breath was coming short, and I was beginning to think maybe I should just levitate up there, or spirit through the remaining levels. But ever since there weren't any criminals left to fight, we rarely got much exercise of our powers, all except Robin. Robin, when he wasn't finding a cure for Terra, spent the rest of his time in the gym, taking out his frustration and anger on the punching bags and weights. I had noticed the last time I was in there, that the weights in Cyborg's were nearly the same as Robin's. The punching bag was also worn, the stuffing inside of it nearly coming through the weathered canvas that held it inside. I touched the side of the canvas, and could still feel Robin's emotions pounded into the bag so furiously. I wondered what he was so furious about. Slade, his obsession and the greatest criminal we had ever faced, was gone, or had disappeared, never to show his face again. The criminals we had faced before were safely in jail, and they're to stay for the rest of their lives. There was nothing to be angered about I thought.

I thought.

I finally reached the top of the tower, where the sun was nearly setting, and had just settled into my meditating position, when…

"HALLELUJAH!!" Someone yelled from the lower levels. 'Great.' I thought, 'another distraction is just what I need…'

The rest of my thoughts were interrupted when Beast Boy burst onto the roof, jumping and screaming, "YES!! WE FOUND IT!! WE FOUND IT!!!" I stood and was about to ask what had he found, and if he didn't shut up, what he would find, when he interrupted me.

"TERRA'S COMING BACK!! WE FOUND THE ANTIDOTE!!! TERRAS GOING TO LIVVEEEEE!!!!" He yelled in my face, splattering it in spit in his excitement.

'Could this be true? Could she really be coming back?' I thought to myself, 'would we extend the hand of friendship to her once again? Make her a Titan again? Maybe this is why Slade left. Left us to reverse the effect, and take control of Terra again. But she had overpowered him last time. Would she be the same after all the time in cold stone? There would be serious mental and physical disabilities if we messed this up.'

Beast Boy grabbed my hand with such force, and dragged me downstairs. Once adjourned in the living room, we were given the 411. Apparently, they had found how to reverse the effect by detonating a device that would transform whatever had been living in stone, back to its original state. I was not completely convinced that this would work, or that something bad would happen again. But Beast Boy and Starfire were both ecstatic about Terra's return, and thought nothing of the problems that we could run into. The only person who was actually kind of concerned on the problems that might arise was Robin.

Our leader, strict, sometimes pompous, egotistical leader. He was worried that the device would turn everyone in live flesh, to stone instead. But his worries were over-ridded by Beast Boy's joy that his love was once again going to live. He was too ecstatic about the device, he nearly broke it when he picked it up and began dancing around the room.

I too was skeptical of the device, it seemed like a high risk prospect, bringing Terra into living flesh once again. Perhaps she was better off being stone, and being real that way, instead of being alive and messed up.

When I voiced these opinions, Beast Boy yelled at me for being to critical, and he said, I was jealous. 'Jealous' thought I, 'how could I be jealous? Jealous of what? His love and obsession of Terra, the girl that eventually betrayed our trust just so she could control her powers. The girl that only cared about herself, and betrayed us all, broke Beast Boy's heart, and eventually all of ours. I am not jealous of her. Or anything in fact.'

That night we had a large dinner, it being Thanksgiving and all, and Beast Boy gave thanks to the gods that we had found a cure for Terra. 'a cure' I thought, 'of being a traitor… and no mortal elixir would cure her of that…'

I ate very little, not a huge tofu-turkey or real turkey fan. The mashed potatoes were also a bit weird, they were slightly blue. Probably mold. How wrong I was.

We all went to bed around 11, stuffed full of turkey, mashed potatoes, peas, and other foods. Beast Boy had wanted to try out the device tonight, but Robin wouldn't let him. They apparently got in a big fight over nothing, according to Starfire. Beast Boy said that waiting one more day would be just one more day for his soul to suffer. His soul could suffer for one more day while we got our strength and emotions together on the reappearance of Terra. They both went to their rooms, angered at each other, and there was definitely some door slamming, or trying to, by Beast Boy, Robin being too mature for that kind of childish thing.

I too went to be around 11, preferring meditation to sleep. I landed in Nevermore, and was surprised to find all the emotions gathered around something. I told them to move, and they did, obligingly, revealing a new emotion, curled a black cape, eyes closed, snuffling noises coming from beneath the cover of darkness. I commanded her to stand, and she did not. So I grabbed her by the arm, and stood her up, her cloak swishing around her. She opened her eyes finally, revealing not amethyst eyes like my own, nor red double slits of darkness like anger, but green.

That surprised me the most of all, and I could not figure out who she was, and what she was doing here. Her eyes were the most infinite green there was, turquoise more in color, but you looked closer, you could see all different shades of green, reverberating back at me with such power I was knocked back on the ground. I stood once more, brushing off my cloak and staring slightly confused at the girl. She was no doubt me in a different colored cape, indicating her to be an emotion.

"Jealousy?" I asked her… but she shook her head.

"Then who are you? Father!" I cried stepping back in a defensive posture.

She chuckled, her laugh even having power over me.

"Who are you then? What are you doing in here?" I asked, getting even more confused by the second. She looked slightly familiar, like me, but not exactly **like** me. I had seen her before somewhere, I just couldn't place her.

"I am two emotions bound together in a single person. Yes I am still under your command, but I am more powerful than others. The reason I am here in one body is because you felt two things at the same time, resulting in a doubly emotional person. I am Jealousy…" she trailed off, staring at me.

"I knew it!"

"But I am also Love…"

"No!" I cried, "I cant feel love, its not an emotion I can have, it does not happen to me! You aren't real!"

"Denying my existence does not make me go away… and you can feel it. And you will…"

_Raven is left in a dilemma, who does she love? Does she love? Who is it that captivates her soul so vehemently… Is it Robin, is it Beast Boy…_

TO BE CONTINUED…


	2. Hateful Comments

**Disclaimer:** i dont own teen titans.. Blahblahblah... lets get on with the story.. lalala.. sorry its been so long.. school is evil! P

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_Previously..._

_"I am two emotions bound together in a single person. Yes I am still under your command, but I am more powerful than others. The reason I am here in one body is because you felt two things at the same time, resulting in a doubly emotional person. I am Jealousy…" she trailed off, staring at me._

_"I knew it!"_

_"But I am also Love…"_

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Raven snapped back up from her meditative posture in her room so quickly, her neck got whiplash. She stood, her cloak covering her body, and slipped quietly to the door of her room, murmuring slightly to herself. The door slid open and she traveled down the hall to the living room, in search of some herbal tea, and perhaps salvation. The door opened on to the room, revealing a boy sitting in front of the large TV screen/window, looking intently at images flashing by on the screen.

"Is everything ok?" Raven asked from behind Robin, and he jumped, not realizing she was there.

"Raven, you scared me!" Robin said, regaining his composure.

"Why are you up so late? Everyone is in bed, getting ready for tomorrow, shouldn't you be doing the same?"

"I was just about to ask you the same question."

"I was getting some tea. Do you want some?"

"Sure. Why not."

He followed me to the kitchen area, where I fetched the kettle and poured some water into it, and set it on the stove. I sat across from him at the polished countertop, and my finger mindlessly followed a crack in the surface. Robin was watching me do this, and when I realized he was, I stopped self-consciously. Robin continued to stare at me, his questioning eyes behind the mask watching my every move. He was an expert at sensing people's feelings, nearly as good as me, and he could sense something was wrong.

"Raven, you've been acting pretty weird, are you ok?"

"I'm fine." I stated bluntly, and was saved from another probing question when the tea kettle whistled. I pulled two mugs down from cupboard, and poured the steaming water into both. I grabbed a bag of herbal tea, and paused when I didn't know what Robin wanted.

I turned and asked, "What kind-?"

He motioned with his hand towards the ones I was holding and said, "The one you're having."

I nodded and dropped two bags into the cups, and gave one of them to Robin, and settled in across from him at the table. My hands gripped the warm mug, and I hadn't realized that my fingers were ice-cold, and my heart beating rapidly. I stared at Robin through the darkness of my shadowed eyes, and watched as he blew off his hot tea, and sipped from the gently steaming cup. I, too, blew on my bitter tea and sipped it, but it was scalding hot, and I put the mug down quickly.

I could tell Robin was about to ask another question about my feelings, and I hoped another miracle would come in the way of his probe-a-thon. _I need to be saved-by-the-bell_… I thought miserably.

"Raven, you are ok, aren't you? I mean, you're always up so late, and look so tired in the morning, like you haven't gotten any sleep. Have you been sleeping well lately?" Robin asked, and I stared at him. I wondered how he could be so observant of me, and I never noticed it. It was simply amazing what the 'worlds greatest young detective' could figure out about one of his inverted teammates. I always thought he was staring at Starfire, who sat or stood next to me whenever I rarely caught him staring. Starfire was beautiful anyways, and I knew that I could never measure up to her. She was simply amazing.

"I'm fine." I stated shortly, but then softened and continued. "Its just that I've been having trouble sleeping lately, its nothing really. I guess I have a small case of insomnia." I thought Robin would understand this, seeing as how he nearly has a full-fledged case of insomnia. Maybe he would just shut up and stop asking questions about things I did not want to answer.

"Anything I might want to know about? Maybe I can help." He asked, still worried about me.

This angered me, I did not need anyone's pity, even my friends. I gripped my mug tightly as the rage grew inside, and I stared deep into the swirling leaves of tea, and tried to control it. But I couldn't, Anger was taking control, and my eyes were beginning to turn red. _NO! _I cried in my mind, desperately trying to control it, but it was much too strong. I closed my eyes, and whispered my mantra vehemently under my breath, and the anger slowly subsided. Or at least it seemed to, for a second later, when I stopped whispering my mantra, it sprang back, lashing against the constraints of my mind. I knew it was trying to get into the safe-hold where my powers were kept, but the latches of my mind were too strong. I was falling, falling, into the darkness of my mind, screaming ceaselessly into the gloom… The anger was taking control, taking my powers, I couldn't feel the cup anymore…

"Raven… Raven. Raven!" Someone was shaking my shoulders, it was Robin. I was clutching the mug as if for my life, searing pain was snaking its way through my hands, while I still tried to control the anger that was coursing through my veins. Finding my center and focusing all my energies on it, the anger started to fade away again. I opened my eyes finally, and thankfully they were neither double vision, or tinted with red, which would signal my father's control.

"Raven… Are you alright…" I finally looked at Robin, and lines prematurely creased his forehead. His hands were still on my shoulders, and I was uncomfortable to be in this position with my leader. _My friend…_

"I'm fine. Thank you for… whatever you did, it was v-very helpful." I was shivering slightly, and took a big gulp of my tea. Except it was still boiling hot, and I spat it out all over Robin. Wiping off his dripping hair with a nearby dishtowel with jerking motions, I thought he was mad at me.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to spit out on you. I just… did. I'm so sorry." I was apologizing profusely when Starfire stepped into the living room/kitchen and called, "Hello Friend Raven and Friend Robin! How are you this glorious morning of today?" smile on her perfect lips.

The smile faded as the saw Robin's arm on my shoulder and how he had been staring at me when she stepped into the room. "Am I interrupting something? Some earth-mating-ritual that I have never encountered before?"

"No, no, no Starfire. You weren't interrupting. Raven just accidentally spit some tea onto me. That's it." Robin stated bluntly to Starfire and moved quickly away from me, as though I would bite off his head for saying that. Robin and Starfire moved away from the kitchen, plopping down at the cushy couch and Robin reached for the remote.

I heard him talk to Starfire and say, "Don't worry. She will never take your place." And lift his arm and carelessly place it about her shoulders. I stood suddenly from my chair, and it would have crashed to the floor, but I consumed it in my power and it righted itself in a glow of black and white. Realizing that I was suddenly very thirsty, I reached for a glass, flipped on the water and filled my glass halfway with clear, cool water. _Is the glass half-empty, or half-full. _I wondered silently to myself. Ha, I was in a pessimistic mood this morning, _so it is half-empty,_

I watched silently as Robin leaned forward and kissed Starfire just above each eye. Obviously, they had forgotten my presence, and went on to kiss more and more, they had forgotten everyone else in the room. The cup I was clutching grew black and suddenly it shatter, spraying water and glass bits everywhere. The sudden noise alerted Robin and Starfire that they were not alone, and Robin stood and walked over to where I stood in the kitchen. Some glass chips were lodged in my hand, but I could not feel my body anymore, and I could tell that anger and jealousy were back. _Love and jealousy together? Do I love Robin? Am I jealous of Starfire and Robin's relationship? Crap, this is bad…_

Robin had finally reached the kitchen, and when he saw my bloody hand and arm, he immediately yelled, "Raven! Are you alright?"

I could feel several different emotions, each one wanted me to do something different. Happy wanted me to faint, pretend that I was a helpless little girl.

I was so not going to do that.

Brave me wanted to yell at him for caring so much. _SHOW SOME BACKBONE MAN!_ I could hear her screaming inside my head. _SHUT UP! _I screamed at her. Wimpy me wanted to cry and run from the room, but I would never cry in front of my friends. I couldn't even cry in front of myself…

Anger wanted me to kill Robin and Starfire, show them that their love was their weakness. OK, I could not, and would not, kill my friends. Jealousy/Love wanted me to tell him how I felt. _But how do I feel about him and Starfire? Crap, this is confusing. Shit._

I had to go somewhere to think.

"I'm fine." I stated and brushed past Robin and escaped Starfire's probing eyes by the door. Stepping through the threshold I turned back, and saw Robin go sit back down next to Star, and she asked him, "What's her problem?"

"I don't know. But I hope she gets over soon, I hate her like this."

"Me too."

Tears formed in my eyes and a sob escaped my lips, but the doors slammed shut behind me, cutting off my torment, and the hateful comments from my 'friends.' I rushed down the corridor, and ran right into… Beast Boy.

"Raven, you look sad, are you alright?" Beast Boy asked worriedly as he helped me to my feet.

"No. I'm not alright…" I said, staring down at my booted feet.

"Anything I can help you with?" The green little changeling asked, brows creased in worry. "Who's bothering you?"

"Its Robin and Starfire… They hate me…" I sobbed out, and threw my arms around his neck and he held me close, whispering. "They don't hate you. I don't hate you…"

TO BE CONTINUED…


	3. He Was So Kind

**Disclaimer**: I dont own Teen Titans, but i do dream..

sorry it took so long. there were lots and lots of things to do.. sigh sorreee.. plez plez forgive me and just read the story for my apology.. hehe.. BBR fans will be happy.. but there will be more other thigns later.. just wait and seeeee...

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_Previously... _

"Its Robin and Starfire… They hate me…" I sobbed out, and threw my arms around his neck and he held me close, whispering. "They don't hate you. I don't hate you…"

To Be Continued...

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He Was So Kind

I rested my head on Beast Boy's shoulder as the tears fell ceaselessly through my amethyst eyes, and he held me close, as if afraid I would float away.

"Come on Raven, you'll go back to your room and it'll be all better now… Don't worry, you'll be fine…" Beast Boy whispered in my ear, and started walking down the corridor to my room.

"No…" I whispered and Beast Boy stopped. "I don't want to be alone… Please…"

"That's alright…" Beast Boy whispered back to me, "We'll go to your room, and you'll feel alright again…"

"Just because I'm sad, doesn't mean you can go in my room again." I said, my voice muffled from being buried in the changelings shoulder. Beast Boy nodded and my head buried even deeper into his shoulder, and I began to calm down, while we walked down the long hallway towards his room. Our footsteps echoed eerily in the dimly lit corridor, before we finally reached his room, where he punched in the access code, and the door slid back noiselessly. A single lamp lit the entire room, spreading flickering shadows across the painted walls, filled with bears and lions, horses and fish. Every animal ever alive was painted on those walls, after the repairs had come in, after the tragic incident with Adonis. The flickering light cast a dim light on the animals, making them seem alive, growling and snapping. He helped me over to his bunk bed, which I noted had been cleaned earlier today and he lay me down on the soft comforter. He hugged me closer, and I melted into his outer calm that he portrayed to me. I did not care if it was fake or real, I only cared that it was helping me. That he was helping me.

I never knew that he could be this kind.

He kissed the top of my head, and murmured hushing sounds as my sobs continued to rack my body. My arm was wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to me, and I was amazed that this close contact did not let loose my emotions. Maybe the pain and sadness I felt, had been cancelled out by the loving nature of him. I hoped that this was so, and I hoped that it would last. I drifted into sleep after a while, and Beast Boy let go of me. I did not feel him get up from the bed, nor did I see his smile at my sleeping body, all I could think of was that I had not been able to sleep like this since Terra died. I did not think that Beast Boy could sleep well either, as he had been the most bothered of her death out of all of us. I guess we were just giving comfort to each other in our time of need.

Beast Boy's POV

_I watched her as she lay sleeping, on the deep green comforter that covered the bottom bunk of my bed. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing coming in slow, even breaths. She looked so calm when sleeping, and I hoped that this would help heal some of the wounds that I myself could not help her heal. Her violet hair was brushed back from her face, and her amethyst eyes were closed. I realized that she could not sleep in these clothes, and that they were filled with painful memories, and they were inexplicably dirty. _

_I leaned over to her, and undid the raven clasp that held her cloak on, and slipped the heavy blue fabric from beneath her. She rolled slightly, but did not awaken. She did not even flutter her eyes, or make some sort of sound, that showed her awakening. She did nothing, and I imagined that her body had put her in a deep trance, that would keep her knocked out for several hours before letting her sleep fully._

_Here I faced a dilemma. I could not go into Raven's room and get some of her clean clothes that she could change into, for she had forbidden me from ever returning in there ever again, and I did not want to violate this absolute rule just for some clothes. I probably had some clothes that she could wear temporarily until she awoke. _

_I dug around in my dresser which was still pretty messy I might add, for some clothes that she could wear._

_Where were those black shorts that I had gotten for Terra before, but never managed to give them to her? Damn, damn, damn. I was losing it already… I finally found them, folded neatly at the bottom of my socks drawer, looking unused and very clean, compared to the socks that were stuffed into the drawer. I pulled the shorts out, and set them on the floor, and began looking for a clean t-shirt. I finally found one that looked pretty clean, and probably hadn't been worn since I had gotten it nearly five months ago. It was a dark blue color, and it had creases in it from where it had been folded in the bottom of my drawer. _

_Here I was faced with yet another dilemma. How to get Raven into the clothes I had gotten for her. I felt uncomfortable undressing her in her unconscious state, and did not want to violate her privacy. But her clothes were filled with so many memories, mine would be a welcome relief, and perhaps she would not remember when she awoke. Perhaps._

_First I pulled her blue boots off of her feet, and it was then that I realized that Raven didn't wear socks. That was strange. Now for the rest of her I thought, and I rolled her over onto her side, and saw the zipper on the back of her neck, at the nape of her hair. No regrets. I reassured myself, and slowly pulled down the zipper, hoping that it would not wake her, and I would be in a very uncomfortable situation. A very uncomfortable one indeed. I continued pulling the zipper, and then when it finished at the bottom of her back, I was forced to sit down, and peel off the stretchy fabric off of her. It was hard with dried sweat, and I thought that it had not been removed in several days. One question raced into my mind, how had she gone to the bathroom? I brushed it aside, and tried hard not to look as the black shiny fabric came off of Raven's body. As much as I wanted to preserve her modesty, the leotard could only come off fully, and I could not leave it on if I wanted to change her. I put her head, which had been resting in one of my hands as I pulled the clothes off, back onto the pillow and continued to pull. But I met resistance as the leotard met the wrists, and I was forced to stop my undressing and pull of the wristbands that encircled her small wrists. The rest of the changing went pretty smoothly, and I was rewarded by a sight fit to behold only in the gods eyes. I tried to repress the memory as I grabbed the shirt off the floor, and pulled it over Raven's head. I had to hold her close to me, and she had a soft body in her sleep, and she did not resist as she would have if awake. I finally finished clothing her again, and I gathered up her clothes from the floor, and put them in the wicker hamper that I had just begun using in my room. I pulled the comforter from beneath her, and pulled it over her body, so she would not be cold._

_Finally, seeming exhausted from the night's troubles, I climbed the ladder wearily, and threw my body onto the top bunk, without even bothering to undress, only pausing in my conquest for some sleep by ripping off my purple, grey, and black boots, and throwing them over the side of the railing. I rested my head on a green pillow, and slipped off into a restless sleep, filled with visions of undressed Ravens yelling at me, and a black panther with glowing eyes growling at me from behind her. _

End POV

and… To be continued…


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